Consequences Read online

  She was quiet for a moment. “I’m not Thomas, Holden. I’m not a child you need to protect. We’re supposed to be working together.”

  “I’ll try harder, but I can’t promise to change overnight. I need you to not to put yourself at risk. If you disappear, I’ll always assume the worse and act accordingly. It’s a visceral reaction.”

  She drew her lower lip into her mouth and a trace of guilt slipped through her walls. “I’m sorry. Thank you for telling me.” I couldn’t tell if she was apologizing for my life or for making me worry today. Knowing Olivia, she was apologizing for all of it.

  “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, regardless of the consequences. That will never change, no matter what happens or how all of this ends. Remember that.”

  The corners of her mouth twitched upward for a moment then creased down in disapproval. “You’re still going to kill Juliet.”

  ”I’ll protect you from anyone who threatens you.” I looked at her as if the force of my stare could make her understand.

  She leaned back, maintaining eye contact. “No.”

  ”She knows too much about your life.”

  Olivia continued to shake her head.

  “And she hates you, Liv—plus, there’s the havoc she is causing. She isn’t the same person you were friends with. She’ll use whatever she can against you. You’ll never be safe as long as she lives.”

  “I understand what you’re saying and why you’re even right to want to do this, but you need to understand me. I know it isn’t something I can live with. If you want to make us work, don’t do it. I won’t forgive you for killing Juliet.”

  I scratched the stubble along my jaw. This wasn’t an unexpected turn of events. I knew Juliet would be a sticking point for her. “What do you hope to achieve by keeping her alive?”

  “She’s been brainwashed. I can clear her mind. We have too much history to wash it all away.”

  “How about we catch her, you have a chance to talk to her, but if she’s still a psycho bitch afterwards, she’s toast.”

  She chewed on her thumb fingernail. “Can I trust you?”

  “Do you even have to ask that?”

  She sighed. “She’s like my left arm. No matter what it does, I’m never going to hate it. She can't die again. I understand she may need to go into a facility of some sort if I can’t help her, but you can’t kill Juliet.”

  I shook my head. “It isn't smart or safe.” I pulled her toward me. Rippling waves of desire coursed through me, mixing with my frustration. “If anything happens to you—”

  “Promise.”

  I rolled my eyes. “If that's what you want—”

  “It is.”

  I gave her a weak smile and a nod with no real intention on following through with this promise. When push came to shove, I would kill Juliet to save Olivia even if I lost her in the process. “If I lose you again...” I let my voice trailed off for the words hung in the air.

  “Holden—”

  “Don't say it.” I didn’t want to hear her tell me once again that she wasn’t going to stay. I needed the illusion right now. “All I mean is, I need to know you’re alive and well in this world. No matter what.”

  She closed her eyes against the tears beginning to form in them. “I think I should get ready for bed.”

  Nineteen

  The city lights flickered in through Holden’s windows. It was never dark in here. I stared at the ceiling and pushed against the couch trying to get comfortable, trying to quiet my mind. But the story about his brother kept playing through my head. It wasn’t fair. His life wasn’t fair. Holden was forced into adulthood, yet he’d tried to meet the challenge. I wanted to weep imagining him as a little boy with a freckled nose and the weight of the world on his shoulders, struggling to protect his beloved little brother. Never having a mom to hug him or kiss his scratches to make them better, yet he was capable of taking such tender care of the very few people he let into his life. No father to teach him how to be a man, but he beats himself up for every failing and tries to do right by me... And he managed to raise his brother away from his life. Holden’s had strength and poise he wasn’t aware of, or at least didn’t value, and it broke my heart.

  Sighing, I rolled over and faced the back of the couch. But moments later a new wave of sympathy crashed into me. He’d been alone for so long, longer than he had been a jinni... Hands scooped beneath my knees and back and Holden lifted me into his arms.

  “Neither of us will get any sleep this way,” he grumbled, carrying me into the bedroom. I began to object, but he interrupted. “I’m well aware of your rules, but I can’t sleep with you in there feeling sorry for me.”

  He laid me on the bed and climbed in the other side. I slipped my legs under the covers, suddenly very nervous. He made it far too easy to free fall with no thoughts of the ground. I had been crushed once—a second time I wouldn’t survive. Squirming lower in the sheets, I didn’t look at Holden though the air was laden with his presence. I held still. I wanted to touch him, but struggled to maintain my distance. This promised to be a long night.

  “Quintus is missing,” I whispered, looking for anything to break the tension filling the air.

  Holden sighed. “That’s what you want to talk about right now?”

  “No. Well, I mean yes. Maybe it’s something we should be concerned about.”

  “How do you know he’s missing?”

  “I ran into a guardian I sort of know today. He said something.”

  Holden was quiet for a moment. “Did he say anything else?”

  “They’re going to put me on trial and strip my powers from me.”

  “And you’re just telling me this now.”

  I hadn’t thought much about it, and I didn’t know how I felt about the prospect. I was focused on finding Juliet and the traitor. If they took my abilities away after that so be it. “It slipped my mind.” I bit my lip. “And besides, maybe it would be best for all of us if I wasn’t a guardian.”

  I could hear Holden breathing. I didn’t know what I wanted him to say, but anything would’ve been better than silence. “You’re not glowing.” Holden curled his arm around my waist pulling us together. “That’s better,” he said into the back of my hair.

  I melted against him. All nervousness evaporated. My eyelids grew heavier with each passing second.

  “What do you feel when I touch you?” His voice was low and soft in my ear.

  Home. I felt at home when he touched me—safe, loved, and complete. “Confused,” I answered him.

  He danced his fingers down my arm making the light hop. “This doesn't seem confused.”

  “I'm tired, Holden.”

  He nodded and spooned behind me. As I drifted off to sleep Holden's voice drifted into my mind, I'm glad you're back.

  “Me too.” I mumbled.

  ****

  I opened my eyes in the cemetery in St. Louis where Juliet was buried. The wind rustled my hair. The blades of grass beneath my feet tickled. Everything seemed so real. The old man I’d spoken with by Juliet’s grave was perched on her tombstone, his electric blue eyes watching every move I made. “I see you’re finally awake.”

  I looked at him. “I’m asleep or I wouldn’t be here.”

  “Why are you still hiding?” He squinted his eyes as he studied at me.

  “What?” This man was crazy.

  He shook his head and a pleasant smile covered his face. “What are you looking for?” he asked.

  “Holden.” If I was dreaming, Holden couldn’t be far behind.

  “Why would Holden be here?”

  “Because I am.”

  The old man’s eyes glinted. “Bring him then. I would very much like to meet to him.”

  I frowned. “I can’t. He’s either here or not here. I don’t have any control.”

  “Humor me, child. Try.”

  I shook my head.

  “Why?”

  “We’re getting too close again. T
he more distance, the better.”

  “So the connection is stronger than ever?”

  “How do you know?”

  “If it weren’t, you wouldn’t have to work so hard to keep him from hearing your thoughts.”

  “How do you know about that?” The man smiled in response.

  “Can I stop it?”

  “Do you want to stop it?”

  “I’d like to have options.” I stared into his piercing blue eyes and had the sense of falling. “Who are you?”

  “Nothing’s ever easy. Your destiny will present itself to you soon.”

  I had no idea what the man was, but I could feel power seeping from his wrinkled little body. “Can you break the connection?”

  He shook his head. “You made it, and you’re the only one who can break it. You know that. We’ll talk again soon. There’s much to discuss and I expect you’ll be ready next time.”

  “Olivia?”

  I opened my eyes to Holden calling my name with a hint of panic in his deep voice. “What?” I answered, cross that he was waking me up already. It was still dark outside.

  Holden rushed back into the bedroom with a crazed look in his eyes that morphed into anger. “Damn it, Olivia. We discussed this.” He clutched my arms in a bruising grasp. “You cannot leave whenever you feel like it.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “You weren’t here.”

  “I haven’t moved.”

  “You disappeared from my mind, I opened my eyes, and you were gone. Vanished.”

  “I swear I was here. I dreamed I was at the cemetery in St. Louis. I woke to you calling my name.”

  Holden ran a hand over his jaw. “What sort of dream?”

  “I was talking to an old man.”

  “About?”

  I swallowed hard, not sure I wanted to tell Holden. “About us. About breaking the bond.”

  Holden went still, his face blank. “Do you want to break the connection?”

  I licked my lips. “I thought we might like the option.”

  He blew out a slow breath. “What did the man say?”

  “That I had the power to break it.”

  Holden nodded. “What did he look like?”

  I didn’t understand why Holden cared what he looked like. I wanted to know what he thought about breaking the connection, but he was focused on details so I appeased him. “A tiny old man with a big nose, huge ears, and intense blue eyes.”

  “Blue eyes, blue eyes...” he mumbled, pacing the room.

  “Holden, what’s going on?”

  “Are you sure you’re an elder? What can they do?”

  “I don’t know. No one tells me anything. Why?”

  He pulled out his cell phone. “We need to talk to Baker.”

  “Baker?” I wanted to laugh, but he was too antsy to be joking. What on earth could Baker do about my dream?

  “I don’t know enough about this and Baker knows a little about a lot of things. Get dressed.”

  ****

  Baker arrived thirty minutes later, disheveled and reeking of alcohol. I was impressed he came in the middle of the night with no objection because Holden called him. Perhaps I was a too quick to judge Baker. Maybe he was a good friend to Holden. I walked over and he looked at me warily. I held out my hand. “I’m sorry.”

  His face was serious as he took my hand, then he broke into a smile, and he tugged me into a bear hug. “Applesauce! You got nothing to apologize for. This one needs a bearcat.”

  I shook my head. “I thought I was a bluenose.”

  Baker laughed. “Nope, I’ve never been more wrong about anyone in my life. You’re definitely a bearcat.”

  Holden cleared his throat.

  Still grinning, Baker released me. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

  “Great, we’re all okay. Can we get started?” Holden said impatiently.

  “Don’t be rude. Baker’s doing us a favor.”

  Holden snorted and Baker winked as we sat down. “So why am I here at—” Baker looked at his watch, “3:53 a.m.?”

  “What do you know about guardians?”

  “Nothing. You should ask a guardian.” He looked at me.

  I made a face.

  Holden scratched his stubble and stared at me for a moment. “Because I don’t think she’s a guardian at all.”

  I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended. What did he mean I wasn’t a guardian? Of course I was. What else would I be?

  Baker looked as confused as I felt. “She glows, boss. She’s a guardian and ain’t nothing gonna change that.”

  Holden drummed his fingers. “Remember the guy in the bar who disappeared?”

  Baker nodded, but I was clueless. “What guy?”

  “There was a man in a bar that I spoke to twice about you, but after the last time he disappeared—and when he did, the bar went with him.”

  “Wait, what? Why were you talking about me?”

  Holden sighed. “Both times were because I wasn’t sure what to do about you. There was a bartender who gave me advice, but he wasn’t real.”

  “What do you mean he wasn’t real?”

  “He was in my head. Baker said angels have the ability to visit people in their minds without leaving a trace. Does that sound like anyone you know, Liv?”

  “But—”

  Holden pushed on. “Your light is a different color, you can do things other guardians can’t, you pulled me from purgatory, vaporized a demon, and your elders seem scared of you.”

  “What makes you think they’re afraid of me?”

  “Why else would they insist you were told nothing? Why would they be rushing to strip you of your abilities?”

  I glanced at Baker who was staring at us. I couldn’t speak; I shook my head in denial though his words made sense.

  “You’re saying this dame’s an angel? Like wings and all?”

  “It’d make sense.”

  I shook my head harder. I wasn’t even good at being a guardian; how was I supposed to an angel?

  “Why did you make this leap tonight?”

  “She disappeared while she was sleeping. Olivia thought she had a dream, but she was gone. She said the person in her dream had bright blue eyes. The bartender had bright blue eyes.”

  “I don’t know, boss, seems thin.”

  “If I’m an angel, why would Hell have tried so hard to get me?”

  Baker’s eyes widened and he leaned back in the chair. “The power,” he said. “Fallen angels have tremendous power. It might make sense.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fallen? Like Lucifer?”

  “It’s the only way you could be on earth for this long.”

  I looked at Holden. Now not only was I not a guardian, I was a fallen angel.

  Holden shrugged. “It would explain your temper and vengeful streak.”

  My eyebrows pulled together. I didn’t have a vengeful streak. He wasn’t helping at all.

  “Fallen angels are corruptible and strong,” Baker said, looking between me and Holden. “You left the guardians to live with jinn.”

  “But—”

  Holden put his hand on my knee. “That’s why they want you, Liv. If they can corrupt you, they have your power.”

  “Okay, let’s say I believe that I’m a fallen angel, what in the hell does that mean?”

  “You cut your wings and became a human.”

  “But I was born a human.”

  Both the guys looked thoughtful.

  “And why did the guardians think I’m an elder?”

  Both men shook their heads.

  “This is great, just great.” I stood up then sat back down then stood up again. “Now what am I supposed to do?”

  “Baker, find out as much as you can about fallen angels. Olivia, nothing’s changed,” Holden said. Our objectives are still the same, aren’t they? You still want to find the traitor.

  I did still want to find the traitor. Holden was right. That was what I needed to focus on. “So ho
w do we do this? How do we find the traitor?” Are you going to help me with it now, not get sidetracked by your dreams of jinn power?

  Holden widened his eyes and made a cutting motion with his hand, but it was too late.

  Baker stopped on his way to the door. “What traitor?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Baker—”

  “I’m looking for the guardian who was betraying the others to Juliet.” I cut off Holden. I was tired of telling people partial truths. “That’s why we’re back.”

  “Have a seat, Baker. We have a story to tell you,” Holden said then looked at me. I was always going to help you find the traitor.

  Twenty

  The Office was as I thought it would be, unsavory. The half elf behind the bar threw up his hands when I walked in.

  “Look, I don’t mind the pretty girl guardians, but this is getting out of hand. I’m trying to run a business.”

  “I’m looking for—”

  “Femi. Yeah, I know. Sit down and try to blend.”

  It took me some time to get away from Jace long enough to track down Femi. Olivia had to be warned, regardless of our plans. The investigation hadn’t progressed as fast as I hoped. Her trial was getting closer by the moment. There was plenty of circumstantial evidence that an elder was involved, but not enough to point a finger that couldn’t be redirected back at her. She needed to stay as far away from the guardians as she could get.

  Femi strutted into the bar less than ten minutes later.

  “This isn’t your conference room, kitten,” the bartender told her as she blew him a kiss and headed for me. As always she was dressed in too much leather to be respectable and showed too much skin to not be looking for trouble.

  “Didn’t expect you already. What’s up, dimples?”

  “They’re going to kill Olivia.”

  Femi plopped down. “Damn, she gets in more trouble than any person I’ve ever met. Who’s after her now?”

  “The guardians. She’s being blamed for all the missing guardians and for going to Holden. They’ve got a trial planned. You need to tell her not to go.”

  “But she hasn’t done anything wrong. They couldn’t have evidence to convict her.”

  “It’s my fault. I told them about her past with Holden.”