Consequences Read online

  “Were you in some way detained?”

  I took a deep breath. “No.”

  “I am having trouble understanding why it has taken you days to report this infraction. Was your mission unclear?”

  What could I tell them? It took me days to tell you because Jace and I were in the process of plotting to overthrow the council. Not the best idea. “I hoped she would come back on her own.” I knew the answer was thin, but it was the truth even if not the whole truth. “She went through a traumatic event at the warehouse, and I thought perhaps once the shock wore off she would see things more clearly.”

  “What event? What warehouse?” James asked.

  “We were captured and nearly killed by the jinn who have been taking the guardians. Olivia managed to kill the demon and disarm the jinn.”

  “That isn’t all she did, though, is it, Quintus?” Ezra hissed.

  “No.”

  “You know about this?” James asked him. Ezra gave a curt nod and James frowned. “Well, I do not. You best start at the beginning.”

  To the best of my ability, I recounted Olivia’s history. I was careful not to add in my own impressions and opinions, just the cold, hard facts. Their faces grew grave as I spoke. With each new detail I presented, I seemed to be sealing her metaphorical coffin. By the time I finished, the elders were anything but the expressionless four who had greeted me. James and Constance wore shock on every feature. Phillip looked disinterested. Ezra was fuming.

  “Why were we not told about the new elder?” Constance asked shrilly. James nodded.

  “Ezra was taking care of it,” Phillip said. “There was no need to involve everyone. She wasn’t going to be trained as an elder before we learned more about her.”

  “But if she was sent to be an elder—”

  “But why was she sent with no warning or request for a new elder? Why was she targeted by demons from the start? It was all suspicious so I made an executive decision to study her before putting her in a position where she could do irrevocable harm.” Ezra folded his hands in front of him. “And I was right to be cautious. Look how it turned out. Not only did she free a jinni’s soul, but she is threatening to free them all. Can you imagine the chaos if they were to go unbound by any rules?”

  “How could she have freed a soul?” Constance muttered. “Even as an elder.”

  “Have you spoken with Uriel?”

  “The only comment Uriel has made is that she was sent to prevent indecision. You know how they are.”

  There were murmurs of agreement across the elder line.

  I wondered if the elders felt the angels were as disconnected from them as many of the guardians felt the elders were. Listening to their conversation was over my pay grade. I had never seen or so much as spoken to an actual angel, let alone an archangel, but it was all very curious how the elders were kept in the same need to know stasis we were. Ezra was the most informed of the group. Was it because he sought information or because he kept information from the others?

  “Regardless of why she was sent, she has been here less than a year and has already broken most of our rules. I feel we have no choice but to retire her and return her to heaven.”

  “What of the missing guardians?” James asked.

  “What of them?” Phillip said.

  “What has been done?”

  “It seems obvious to me,” Constance chimed, and everyone looked at her. “Guardians didn’t start going missing until she was here, and she has a weakness for jinn. She must have been aiding the North American Commander.”

  The others mulled over the notion, and I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. “Olivia would not have aided anyone in harming a single guardian or human life.”

  Jace jabbed me with his elbow as all four elders stared at me as if they had forgotten I was here.

  “I mean no disrespect, but she wouldn’t. Besides they started disappearing while she was still deciding to come back. I have complete faith she is in no way involved in the disappearances.”

  “Just as you had complete faith she would come back to the guardians on her own?” Ezra smirked.

  “I know her.”

  “Your judgment is clouded by her,” Constance countered.

  “Perhaps you should take a vacation, Quintus. You have been a guardian for a very long time. Sometimes it is easy to lose perspective,” James said kindly.

  “I don’t need a vacation. We need to find the actual cause for the disappearances and not blame them on the easiest scapegoat.”

  “You’re dismissed, Quintus, but don’t go too far. We may have further questions for you.” Ezra waved his hand like he was shooing a pesky fly. Jace and I turned to leave. “Jace, if you wouldn’t mind staying back a moment...”

  Jace nodded, and I transported home. I stared out the window of my apartment, but I didn’t see the familiar cityscape. All I saw was my betrayal. Olivia would be retired, and it was my fault. I hadn’t even spoken to her, allowed her the chance to explain or defend her actions. I gave the elders the ammunition they needed to dispose of her. They didn’t want her here from the start, which lead me to question what lengths Ezra would have gone to in order to keep her from becoming one of them. How did hell know about her before her transformation? Ezra wouldn’t have leaked that information to prevent her transformation, would he? I needed to tell Olivia. The realization sunk in me like a stone in a pond.

  Did she even want to see me? Holden would try to kill me, and if Olivia wasn’t angry with me before, she would be furious now. There was also the tiny side issue that if anyone found out about my seeing her, she wouldn’t be the only guardian retired. The solution snuck up on me. It was so simple. Femi. She had free access to Olivia, and I could visit her without raising too much suspicion. Before I could leave, however, Jace appeared, a smile stretched across his face.

  “Wonderful, my friend.” He clapped his hand on my back.

  “That wasn’t my impression of that meeting.”

  “What? Why? They are distracted by Olivia which gives us open reign to expose the elders for the self-serving group that they are. Did you see that they didn’t even care about the missing guardians? It is working perfectly. I couldn’t have planned it better.”

  “But what about Olivia?”

  “We discussed this. She made her decision. You said so yourself. It is too late for regrets.”

  I sat down and ran my fingers through my hair.

  “Besides I talked them into a trial, so she’ll at least have a chance, and we’ll have a public forum to expose them.”

  “We should tell her.”

  “No time. We have a lot of work to do. The trial is in a few days.”

  “But what if we can’t prove it was them by then?”

  “Then she will be retired for naught.” He winked, not looking concerned. “I suggest we get to work.”

  Eighteen

  Baker’s voice still echoed in my ears. “Um, boss. She’s gone.”

  How two little words can change an entire outlook and state of mind! I hadn’t been gone twenty fucking minutes. How did he manage to lose her? Red hot rage poured over my eyes like blood. I’d kill whoever took her. I’d kill Baker for letting someone take her. I would torture the fuck out of the son of a bitch who dared cross me.

  “What do you mean gone?” My voice barely made it past my lips.

  “Well, when she didn’t come out of the bathroom, I went to check on her. The room was steamy like she took a shower, but she wasn’t in it.”

  I assumed the guardians came for her. I hung up on Baker and called Femi to see if she had any ideas. She swore she’d look for her. I spent the next fifteen minutes beating the shit out of Mears, the jinni who challenged her at the meeting, just for the hell of it. I was headed to find Baker when she called back. It was Olivia’s sweet, infuriating voice on the other end. Relief and fury filled me, but she refused to come back. Flat out ignored my orders. I went back to my apartment and kicked Baker out of it. I co
uldn’t blame him when she broke the rules we agreed to and transported out of her own free will. I sat on the couch where she’d been sleeping because I could smell her there and waited. I imagined all the things she could be doing. She could be looking for Juliet and getting herself caught, again. She could be with that worthless guardian and making a fool out of me.

  Then the door opened and she strolled back inside, her chin tilted slightly, and stubborn glint in her eye. I didn’t try to hide my anger. I’d enough of this shit. We were going to get a few things straight tonight. “Sit,” I commanded, struggling to control my temper.

  She ignored me and headed for the bedroom. I blocked her path in a flash.

  “Sit the fuck down, Olivia.”

  Her own storm raged behind her eyes, and she didn’t budge.

  “Sit down or I will sit you down.”

  She glared, and I tossed her over my shoulder and deposited her on the couch with more care than I felt like giving. She stood back up, fists clenched at her sides.

  “You cannot leave whenever you want. If I have to find a way to trap you in here, I will. I will fucking tattoo those symbols from the warehouse on you.” I moved in with each word I spoke, but she held her ground.

  “You don’t have any right to tell me what to do. I’m not one of your soldiers, and I’ll not be pushed to the side. I’m here on a mission, Holden. I’m not here to hang on your arm and be your adoring fan.”

  “You have to talk to me—”

  “I tried to talk to you, twice. You don’t listen. You push me off on that clown, Baker. I will not be held back or shoved into a room for safe keeping.”

  “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

  “Neither do you.” Now she advanced on me, pushing me with her glowing hands. “What makes you think you have a say over anything I do? I was willing to be your partner in all of this, but I won’t accept anything less. I will not stand behind your revolution, and I will not sit here instead of finding the traitor when you said you would help me.”

  I grabbed her by the shoulders. I wanted to shake her, make her understand, but instead I let go and walked out of the apartment. I stood in the hallway, taking deep breaths. Olivia wasn’t going to listen to me. She also might have a point. I was cautious when it came to her. Yes, there was a very real threat to her safety, but I knew her better than to think she would be happy hidden away anywhere. Olivia was strong. With a bit of coaching, she could take care of herself. I had to find a way to fit her in my life and not hide her from it. I had made that mistake before and it ended with me becoming a jinni. I would do better with Olivia. She could understand. I had to let her in. She was right; she needed to be my equal.

  I exhaled. I needed a drink—or ten—first. I stuck my head back in the apartment. She slammed my kitchen cabinets, grumbling about me having nothing in them.

  “I’m going to get a drink. I’d appreciate it if you stayed.”

  “Aren’t you going to call your guard dog to make sure?” she snapped, not bothering to look at me.

  I shook my head. “Obviously, I can’t stop you from doing whatever in the hell you want. I’m asking you.”

  She turned and stared, but didn’t respond. I shut the door and walked away trying to ignore the worry already eating away at me. During the years I thought she was dead, I’d forgotten about the constant angst I felt for her when she was alive, but it was back with a vengeance. About an hour later I came back with a plan. The moment I stepped through the door, I noticed she had been moving my things. She had rearranged the art on my walls and one of the pictures was hung crookedly. A towel was lying on the floor and the picture of us that was in my closet was on the coffee table. The remote for my television wasn’t in its spot in front of the TV. The pillows on the couch were disheveled. Olivia sat in one of my chairs with her legs hanging over the side reading one of my books and creasing the spine. I fought irritation. This was her passive aggressive attack on me, but I couldn’t let her distract me from my purpose.

  I righted the picture, tossed the towel in the hamper and returned the remote to its spot then sat on the edge of the couch and rested my elbows on my knees. I picked up the photograph I had developed from her camera and stared at it for several moments. This photograph was proof enough of my weakness. She was so exposed and anyone could come after her at anytime and get to me. I squeezed the edges so hard my fingertips turned white. I had to do this. “I always have the best intentions when it comes to you.”

  Her head jerked up, startled by my voice.

  “I intended to keep you away from my world, but managed to shove you into it. I intended to save you, but managed to put you in even more danger than before. Now all I want to do is keep you, but the tighter I hold on, the further away you get.”

  Olivia put her feet on the floor and turned toward me. Something like sympathy and regret filtered through her boundaries—always so soft under all her posturing. “Maybe we both need to let go and see what happens,” she whispered.

  I looked up into those aqua pools surrounded by long curling lashes. She was so young, so delicate. I felt very old and very tired. My skin felt like it had been stretched over my bones for too long and it was beginning to crack. “Did I ever tell you about my brother?”

  Olivia’s hand moved like she wanted to reach out, but then stopped. She shook her head.

  “Our parents died when I was eight. Thomas couldn't have been four yet. It was a different world then, harder and simpler than it is now. No one took us in; we had to take care of ourselves. But he was so young—he was always so young.” I stared straight through her to a place far away from both of our reaches.

  “I did the best I could. I worked in stables and stores to support us, scrimping and saving every last nickel until I was able to buy my first gun. I practiced every single day, and when I turned sixteen, I was offered my first job as a gunman. I quit working for Mr. Wilcox’s stable and never looked back. The money was better, and it was a lot more fun. I could send Thomas away to go school.”

  I grinned a little, remembering how confident I was that I could change his life, make it better than mine. In that moment I didn’t feel like a jinni, I felt like a man who had learned a lesson the hard way. “Thomas was the kindest, gentlest person you could ever meet—you would’ve liked him. He brought in strays and adopted anything or anyone without a home. It drove me insane, but it was who he was.” I blinked, knowing where my story ended and not wanting to go back there, but I would do it for her. “I killed my first person at seventeen and discovered the dead or alive bounties were much easier when I brought the person back dead. I built a reputation and work became plentiful. I took the highest paying bounties, and I was gone for longer and longer stretches of time, but Thomas was always at home waiting for me to come back and tell him stories of my trips.”

  I focused back on Olivia trying to delay the ending for a moment longer. “You remind me of him. No matter how many times I told him different, Thomas always believed I was one of the good guys. The foolish kid had it in his head he could be like me, but I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't even let him learn to shoot a gun. My brother was going to be better than a gunslinger. I had plans for him.” I leaned back on the couch and crossed my ankle over my knee. “I sent him east to college and law school, hoping he’d forget me and the filthy little town we lived in. But he wrote every week without fail. I never wrote him back, but it didn’t stop him. He insisted on coming home because he wanted to see me and he had a surprise. He said not to bother trying to talk him out of it, by the time I received his letter he would already be on his way.”

  My voice cracked and sounded foreign to my ears. I looked down to see Olivia’s fingers laced through mine. I couldn’t say if she took my hand or if I took hers. Her bright eyes were watery and emotional. I tightened my jaw and muscled through. “I wasn't there when he arrived home. I was chasing down a particularly lucrative bounty. I made it back two days after his proposed arrival. That
was when I found them. Thomas's big surprise was he’d gotten married. His wife had probably been pretty, but I couldn't tell after what they had done to her. Thomas and the girl had been beaten to death by people looking for me. One of my bounties was a member of a group of outlaws who thought of themselves as untouchable. That's why I was offered so much money to bring him in. Everyone else knew better than to cross them. I was arrogant, and Thomas paid with his life.”

  A tear trickled down Olivia’s cheek. “It wasn't your fault.”

  I frowned at her. “Of course it was. I should’ve known better. It was my job to take care of him. Not only did I fail, but I didn't even allow him to have the means to defend himself.” I shook my head. “The next few years of my life were dedicated to drinking and killing any of those outlaws to cross my path. I wanted every last one of them to pay. Or maybe deep down I hoped they’d kill me. One day I met a man in a saloon who had a deal for me. A deal that made my revenge possible.”

  Olivia looked down, but I could see her heart in her eyes even if she was blocking her thoughts.

  “Don’t do that, Liv.”

  “You were so young. You never had a chance—”

  “Don’t make excuses. I didn’t tell you for that.”

  ”It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated, willing me to believe.

  “I chose my life. It isn’t anyone else’s fault. I didn’t have to hunt people; I didn’t have to kill them. I was good at it. It was the easy path. I don’t care about people like you do.” She started to object, but I cut her off. “You know I don’t. There have been two people who I have loved. After Thomas died, I believed it wasn’t worth it. Having those connections made me weak and vulnerable, not something I wanted to be. I made damn sure no one could ever be used against me—until you.”

  Her hand reached for my face, but hesitated just short of touching my skin. ”Why are you telling me this?”

  “So you understand why I do the things I do. Thomas was a sweet, gentle idealist, like you. I didn’t protect him like I should have. Death has always surrounded me, and the people I love suffer for it.”