Consequences Read online

  I took her hand, enjoying the tingling sensation her glow caused. “Of course you aren’t going to. We’re going to tempt them and keep them loyal with the possibility.”

  She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “That won’t work forever. Eventually they’ll want proof and I won’t do it.”

  I laughed. “Hopefully we’ll be gone by then.”

  “Hmph.”

  “You have to trust me.”

  She nodded. “When do we do this?”

  “Tomorrow. You’ll do fine. Stand next to me and try not to show any emotion.”

  “’Cause that’s so easy.”

  “We need to work on your poker face.”

  She straightened her shoulder and took a step back. “Touching me is against our agreement.” She pulled her hair back into a ponytail. “Teach me.”

  “Take a deep breath and clear your mind of all thoughts. Focus on the silence. Recognize how that feels.” I circled her as I spoke. “Keep breathing, but focus on the void surrounding you. Nothing can touch you here. Nothing can come in that you don’t let in.”

  I let her stand like this in silence for several minutes before I spoke again. “This place will be where you need to stay when you’re around any of my associates. You can still listen and talk, but always keep your mind here. What they say is just words. They don’t impact you or affect you in any way. You are untouchable.”

  “I am untouchable,” she whispered.

  “Do you think you have it?”

  “Yeah, I can do this.”

  “Let’s practice.”

  Thirteen

  Holden circled me like a hawk would its prey. I am untouchable. I am untouchable, I chanted in my mind, wrapping the peaceful silence of my lack of thoughts around me like a blanket.

  “They’re all going to hate you. Laugh at you. Judge you,” he whispered in a low, rough voice in my left ear.

  The smell of his faint cologne filled my nostrils. I met his eyes, not even letting my face twitch.

  “Guardians are good for one thing: target practice,” he said in my right ear.

  “Really, Holden, that’s the best you can do?” His trick of staying calm worked so well I wished I learned it before now.

  He smiled at my cockiness and strolled behind me. His breath tickled the back of my neck as he spoke. “I’m going to kill Quintus next time I see him, Juliet too, and I’ll like it.”

  My stomach twisted in knots, and the reaction swirled inside of me, but I smashed it down and took a deep breath then closed my eyes. “Whatever gives you cheap thrills.”

  “Very good, Liv. Remember to keep breathing.” He spoke in a normal voice. A few seconds later he pressed against me and nipped at my earlobe. “I’m going to finish what we started on the bike before this is over.”

  His voice purred in my ear and a picture of me leaning back against the handlebars of his bike flashed in my mind. That wasn’t my memory. I had no idea how he sent me an image, but the heat rushing through my veins didn’t care. Desire sent my heart thumping and my cheeks burned. His supple mouth hovered a breath’s width away from mine. My lips throbbed with the anticipation. I tried to remember what I was supposed to be doing. When my mind failed to respond quickly enough, I leaned in and our lips brushed together. That too familiar sense of rightness filled me and nothing else mattered in the world. Holden pulled back too fast for my liking.

  “As much as I didn’t mind that lapse, you’ll have to do better than that. Again.”

  “I don’t understand why it matters if I can’t resist our connection.”

  “Remember the first demon, Vetis?” I nodded. “He used me against you. If we are separated or for whatever reason I can’t help you, you need to control everything you feel. No weaknesses.”

  He took me through different temptations, pushed my buttons, and hit me with so many different emotions my head swam. I was tired, but confident I could maintain my calm. Holden was good teacher. He was relentless as a drill sergeant, but he explained everything in a precise step-by-step manner as if it was science.

  I curled up on the couch and rolled the stress from my neck. Holden rubbed the knots of tension with his thumbs. My head lulled forward. “You aren’t doing very well with the no touching,” I mumbled.

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No.” His hands were like magic. My whole body relaxed, and I could barely keep my eyes open.

  “I can’t say I love what you did with the place.”

  I cracked open an eye and took in the fuchsia and tangerine monstrosities I’d replaced his stark furniture with while he was asleep. “Sorry about that. I was irritated.”

  “So you’re not irritated anymore?”

  I took a deep breath. “No. I appreciate that you were there for my mom when I couldn’t be. I was being unfair.”

  “And you’ll fix it?”

  A smile lifted the corners of my mouth. “If you’re lucky.”

  Holden’s hand moved up into my hair and massaged the base of my skull. “I don’t care what you do with the apartment, make it so you’re comfortable, but flowers and pink…”

  He continued to knead the muscles in my neck and back, and I closed my eyes and tried to imagine something that would be a blend of the two of us. When I had a good image in my head I focused on it and released my energy. I didn’t know if I could change everything at once; normally, I focused on one item at a time, but I was too comfortable to get up and do that, so I gave this a shot. Holden’s hands stalled. After a few moments the couch changed material beneath me. I opened my eyes to see the room as I imagined it. The walls were a deep charcoal gray lined with large white baseboards and crown molding. Two overstuffed white love seats faced each other in an intimate setting. A fluffy grey rug covered the cold, wood floors. One wall was floor to ceiling bookshelves of all different shapes and sizes so it made an interesting pattern on the wall. We’d buy books, a few plants and maybe some pictures, then it would be perfect. This is temporary, I reminded myself.

  I twisted around to glance at Holden, who still hadn’t said anything. He studied the changes. “Amazing,” he muttered.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Yeah, it isn’t bad.” He poked at the couch and shook his head. “So is this an illusion or is it real?”

  I sighed. That was the question I had been struggling with. I felt like it was an illusion. “It’s as real as me.”

  “Well then, we need books for those shelves.”

  “I can’t make books. The insides would be blank or fragmented sentences from my memory.”

  Holden nodded. “That makes sense. What else can you do?” He moved around the loveseat and sat next to me.

  “Nothing really.”

  Holden gave me an impatient look. “I’ve never seen what guardians can do. Show me.”

  “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” I gave him a slow, easy smile, knowing I was playing with feelings I couldn’t control, but, I’d missed him.

  He winked. “You can see mine anytime you want.”

  I laughed and my soul lifted. It wasn’t fair that he still had this effect on me. “I can transport, I can make things, but I’m not very good at nudging. Too forceful for their liking.”

  “What do you mean? What’s nudging?”

  I sighed and wet my lips with the tip of my tongue. Holden darkened for a moment, then he shook it off and refocused on my eyes. “We aren’t supposed to force people to do what we want them to do. We’re supposed to nudge them in the right direction, but let the decision remains theirs.”

  Holden shrugged. “Which is why the jinn will always be more tempting.”

  The feeling that I was sharing secrets washed over me. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling Holden this.

  Holden’s hand brushed mine and the sparks under my skin snapped my focus back to him. “Liv, this isn’t news to me. I’ve always known I could out manipulate a guardian.”

  “Not me.” I could beat him. I didn’t kn
ow where this confidence came from, but it filled me.

  He laughed as if I were a child who told him I wanted to be a movie star. “You don’t believe me.”

  “You’ve been a guardian for a year, elder or not. What makes you think you could beat me at my game?”

  “Want to make a little wager?”

  The smile didn’t leave his face. “What are your terms?”

  “If I win, I get to see my mom.”

  “And if I win?”

  “What do you want?”

  “You know the answer to that.” Those green eyes flecked with specks of gold eyes looked at me with such warmth and affection, it stole my breath.

  I bit my lip. Could I win this? Part of me believed I could. I beat the jinni in Rome, but perhaps she wasn’t as old or as strong as Holden. Not to mention, did I want to toy with someone’s life like this? Holden’s power was nothing to take lightly. I shouldn’t make a game out of it. “Fine,” I said, ignoring all the logical arguments my brain made against it. “But no one gets hurt. We have to do something innocuous.”

  “Your challenge. You set the rules.”

  “Neither of us will do anything that causes any permanent damage. This is a test of wills.”

  “Who will be our vict—subject?”

  “I don’t know. Take me somewhere fun.”

  Holden pulled me up by the hand he’d never relinquished. He was bombing the no-touch rule, but I couldn’t find it in me to mind. He led me to a restaurant a few blocks away and got us a cozy table in a dark corner. I scanned the room looking for a good, safe person. I spotted a couple who appeared to be on their first date. The girl checked her phone every couple minutes, and the guy seemed bored with the conversation. It wasn’t going well.

  I leaned into Holden so his shoulder brushed mine. “The couple by the window with the girl in the purple dress.”

  “I see them.”

  “You try to make her stay. I will try to make her leave.”

  Holden watched them for a few moments. He was sizing them up and part of me wanted to probe his mind and see what he had planned. “Would you like to go first?” he asked with a sly smile.

  “If I go first, you won’t have a chance.”

  He shrugged. His body once again relaxed. In fact everyone in the restaurant relaxed. I frowned. What was he doing?

  “Holden.”

  “Shhhhh.”

  People around us started holding hands, gazing longingly into one another’s eyes. The couple in question were no exception. The girl reached out and ran her fingers through the guy’s hair. Holden didn’t appear to be stopping either. He wanted to win. I began to work counter to him. I focused my attention on her. Her aura was hazy now, but underneath it the desire to leave was still there. I sent a single thread of light at her and watched the haze dissipate from the inside out. Holden’s jaw clenched as she stood up from the table, making her excuse. He glanced over at me, then stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his hand around her arm. She gave him a sharp look, but as soon as he started to whisper in her ear blankness filled her eyes. I focused on her date and undid the haze around him. By the time I finished, the girl was back in her chair with a dreamy expression. Holden sat down with a pleased look. I refocused on her. It wasn’t working like last time, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it. I concentrated harder, pushing out more energy to tear apart his influence, but it was still as thick as mud. My fists clenched, and a bead of sweat trickled down my temple. The gray mist shook, I was going to do it. I was going to win. Holden’s hand clamped down on my arm, and the jolt broke my concentration. I glared at him. Cheater!

  “Pull back,” he whispered, giving a slight nod toward the door.

  Two jinn were walking into the restaurant. “Let go of me,” I hissed with a pointed glance at my arm.

  Holden released me and the last of the light receded. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with relief and letting it wash away my irritation at losing. “I was going to beat you.”

  He laughed, causing the jinn to look our way. They started toward our table. Holden looked up lazily, all the humor evaporating from his face. “What?” he snapped.

  “Glad to see you too,” the male wearing eyeliner said. “I heard rumors you were gone. There’s something…different, isn’t there?”

  Holden raised an impatient eyebrow.

  Neither of the jinn was interested in me, but Holden’s annoyance didn’t go unnoticed. The one who’d spoken cleared his throat and frowned. “Do you want me to stop by the club before the meeting tomorrow to give you a report?”

  “No, the meeting isn’t about that. We can talk after.” Holden gave a sharp nod, but might as well have said, “You’re dismissed.” The two jinn did not wait for further instruction, nor did they go back to their table. They exited the restaurant and never once looked back.

  “Who was that?” I asked to break the silence and the line of worry between Holden’s eyebrows.

  “Phoenix. He’s a jinni I’ve been teaching a few things in return for his support.”

  “Then what’s this all about?” I traced my finger over the stubborn crease still lining his forehead.

  Holden’s eyes drifted shut for a moment, but opened again when I folded my hands together back in front of me. “Baker told me I was different. I thought Baker noticed because he’d been pretending to be me for so long, but Phoenix saw it too.”

  “You weren’t planning on hiding that you had a soul, so what’s the problem?”

  “You think that’s what it is? My soul?”

  “Of course. What did you think it was?”

  “You.”

  I had no idea how to respond. We did change each other, but his influence on me had been present since the moment I opened my eyes to this world. He laced my abilities and made me more formidable than I ever should have been. Whether that would be to our detriment or to our benefit was yet to be determined. “Have I changed you, Holden?”

  “Can’t you see it?”

  I shook my head. He seemed the same. Then again, I never really knew him before. Everything I thought I knew was a lie, so how could I be certain of the truth now? “I don’t think I’ve changed you at all. You pretend to be something you’re not around me.”

  A trickle of disappointment that I didn’t have time to investigate before he spoke again pierced my mind. “Even if that were true, the fact that I would bother to pretend to be anything around you would be an indication.”

  “Well, I‘m looking forward to getting to know the real you.”

  “When will you accept you’ve only ever known the real me? It’s the rest of this that is the lie.”

  He was too smooth. A century of manipulating made it impossible to tell if this was the truth now. Time would tell. I fingered the rim of my water glass before I took a sip. “Tell me about Juliet,” I said quietly.

  Holden stared at me. I could feel him pushing at the edges of my mind, but I didn't budge. “What, exactly, do you want to know?” He straightened his silverware without looking at it.

  “I want know how she’s still alive. Why is she a jinni?”

  Holden relaxed. “I'm not sure how it happened. I don't think she was targeted for any reason other than that she was your friend. Friends and family are eliminated, but my guess is when Vetis met her, he saw she was ripe for the picking and couldn't resist.” He gave a half shrug. “But I don't know that for a fact.”

  The way he could talk about Juliet in such a detached, almost uninterested, manner gave me chills. Could he do the same about me? I picked up a piece of brown bread and plopped a chunk in my mouth while I stewed.

  “Never,” he said.

  “What?”

  “You’ve always been the exception to every one of my rules.”

  Now it was my turn to stare at him. “There’s no way you heard that.”

  Holden smiled and reached for his water. “Your face doesn't hide much.”

  I shook my head, trying not to let him
distract me. “Is she happy?”

  “As happy as any jinni I imagine.” My impatience must have shown because Holden elaborated. “You remember when you told me her mother was schizophrenic? Well so is Juliet. She tried to hide it from you. The demons love the crazies. It was the best thing that could’ve happened to her. It stopped the illness and made her feel accepted.”

  I picked up my napkin that had fallen to the floor while I listened to him. “How could that be the best thing? I would have accepted her, no matter what. Juliet is my family. I could’ve helped her.”

  Holden reached across the table and took my hand. “She wasn't thinking clearly.”

  “So she chose to be evil, chose to hurt people. What could she have been thinking?” As soon as the words left my mouth I felt like a jerk. Holden had made the same choice I was belittling. “Oh God, I'm sorry.”

  Holden stared at our hands, fingers interlaced. “Sometimes it’s your only choice.”

  I nodded, letting that information swirl around my mind before I changed gears. “So, have you noticed anything different about your abilities since I came back?”

  “What do you mean?”

  I shrugged. “Have they changed?”

  “What are you fishing for? Just ask what you want to know.”

  “I think our connection is more than emotional.”

  “How so?”

  “We could be sharing certain abilities.”

  He leaned back in his chair and picked up his water glass then sat it back down. “What makes you think so?”

  “I push people when I should nudge them. And there was this time in Italy when I hurt a jinni. Guardians can’t use their powers like that. I think I’m pulling from you.”

  “How did you hurt the jinni?”

  “I put my hand on her and I was angry. So angry. Next thing I knew she was screaming and boils covered her skin. Reminded me of when the demon touched me…” I bit my lip. “Is that something you can do?”

  Holden nodded. “It’s possible.”

  I held my breath while he thought it over. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, but I was. Maybe because he was the only person in this entire world who might understand what I was talking about, the one who would give me the benefit of a doubt.