Consequences Page 5

  I shook my head. It’s the only plan that might work. “Do you agree?”

  She nodded. “So how do we do this?”

  “You’re going to have to sell it. Make people believe good and evil means nothing to you, and you’re 100% by my side no matter what. Any hint of weakness, doubt, or fear to anyone, guardian or jinni, could blow this plan. If you want the traitor to reveal him or herself, he needs to believe you’re a traitor too. There’s no going back once we do this. I don’t know how the guardians will respond, but once we cross that line you’re in it until the end.”

  “I’ll start working on my evil laugh.”

  I sighed. “This isn’t a joking matter. I live in a harsh world. I don’t know if I can always be there to protect you from it.”

  Her shoulders went back. “I can protect myself.”

  “I’d be more confident if you were more scared.”

  “Holden has a point, Olivia.” Femi wrinkled her nose. “Jinn aren’t savory.”

  “If I’m not mistaken, I was the one who saved all of us. Not either of you and not Quintus. Me. I’m not a damsel in need of saving. Perhaps the jinn should be frightened.”

  Seven

  Holden looked at me like I’d lost my mind, and Femi seemed of a similar opinion. I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t afraid of jinn or demons. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was because I had twice gone up against a demon and lived to talk about it. Maybe it was because jinn didn’t stand a chance against me and now I knew it. Power surged beneath my skin, a newly awakened part of me that was tired of standing on the sidelines.

  I couldn’t believe Holden agreed to this plan so easily, but maybe deep down this was what he wanted. Maybe it was how things were always meant to be. I found the guardians stifling and doubted I would have the same issue with jinn. Being around Holden, it was easy to forget what jinn did. A nagging voice in my mind reminded me: Stifling is better than causing harm to innocents. But this was to protect innocent guardians, and I wouldn’t be hurting anyone. I wasn’t doing this to be with Holden—at least I didn’t think I was.

  Before I could examine my motivations, Quintus’s light filled the room. Holden’s hands balled into fists. “Let him talk before you yell,” I told him.

  Holden nodded, jaw clenched.

  Quintus solidified and studied us for a moment before he spoke. “Ezra wants to meet with you.”

  “Like hell,” Holden said through clenched teeth. “You transported here, you jackass. Do you use your brain? What did I tell you?”

  “It isn’t your decision, jinni. Olivia can speak for herself.”

  I wanted to meet the elders. They’d been the people behind the curtain for so long, and I had a lot of questions. But it didn’t go with our plan. For any of this to work, all guardians had to believe I defected, even Quintus. Holden took my hand in a silent reminder of the path I chose. I held on for a moment then pulled my hand away, needing to keep a clear head.

  “Touch her again,” Quintus said with a startled look.

  Holden took my hand back without hesitation, and Quintus shook his head.

  “What?”

  “You’re glowing. You glow when he touches you.” He spoke like he was telling me I had six months to live.

  Holden smiled, and I looked down at our hands. Sure enough, a soft light emitted from my skin and surrounded me in a halo.

  “I noticed that earlier,” Femi said.

  I took my hand from Holden and filed that information away to discuss later. “What does Ezra want?”

  Quintus frowned. “He wants to talk to you to see if there’s a way to keep from putting you on trial for breaking the truce and starting a war. He is going to help you.”

  My resolve hardened. My plan was the best plan. I wished I could share it with Quintus, but I trusted Holden and Femi were right. I knew when I was close to someone I tended not to see them as they were. I shook my head and swallowed the nervous lump in my throat.

  “I’m going back with Holden.” Quintus’s mouth fell open, but I pushed on. “I’m sorry. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but this isn’t where I belong. You have to see that. I love him.” I bit my lip and gave Quintus a moment to absorb what I was saying. “I don’t care what I have to do if I’m with him. We can make it work.” I leaned against Holden and watched Quintus’s face go through a gamut of emotions. The words felt truer than any of times I told myself I could move on—and that scared me more than any threat of demons ever did.

  Quintus’s hands shook and he swallowed several times. A tight knot of guilt settled in my stomach. “Where are you two going?”

  “Back to Chicago. Back to the jinn.”

  His half-laugh barked out and incredulity chilled his usually warm eyes. “Have you lost your mind? You can’t live with the jinn. They’ll…You’ll…But…” he sputtered. “You’re okay with this?” He focused on Holden.

  Holden gave a lazy smile and slipped his arm around my waist. “I wanted her and now I have her. Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

  “She’ll change.” Quintus turned to me, his voice piercing, challenging. “You’ll change, Olivia. You won’t be the same person you are now. You don’t understand what you are doing. They hurt people.”

  I looked straight into his eyes. “You mean like when I pushed people to do what I want, instead of nudging them? Or when I demanded revenge for Juliet’s death.” I shook my head. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand. You keep trying to force me to be something I’m not, Quintus. I’ve tried to be a guardian. I wasn’t good at it. I want to try it with the jinn now.”

  “By being taken as his whore?”

  Holden’s fist smashed into Quintus’ face with a crunch. Brutal second and third hits followed in quick succession. At first I thought Quintus couldn’t get his arms up to block Holden—then I realized he wasn’t even trying to. He started to crumble to the ground, but Holden caught him by the collar, continuing to beat him.

  Stop it, I screamed in my head. STOP IT.

  His rage pulled back and his fist paused midair. He looked back at me and blinked. He opened his hand, spreading his fingers, and dropped Quintus to the ground. “If you ever call her anything like that again, I’ll kill you. No one will stop me.” He looked back at me with a serious, still pissed-off expression.

  My mouth was dry, my breathing shallow. I was doing the right thing, wasn’t I? I never believed for a moment he would harm me, but as Marshall, the young guardian I had met in the coffee shop had said, Quintus was a suit. Quintus was the poster boy for guardians. He’d never be able to do what was necessary to find this traitor—cross the lines. I had to hope he’d forgive me when he understood the circumstances. As for Holden, I was well aware I was walking a fine, sometimes nonexistent, line. I did love him and the reasons why we shouldn’t be together were murky. I didn’t know what our futures held.

  “Can we talk?” Quintus’ voice penetrated my thoughts. “In private.”

  I nodded and followed Quintus out the front door though I felt Holden tense behind me. The jealousy was going to be an issue.

  “I’m sorry about that comment. I was out of line.”

  “I wish you could understand why I have to do this.”

  “I will never understand your weakness for that cretin.” His voice was much harsher than it had ever been with me.

  “It’s the best decision for me. End of story.”

  “That’s all you have to say?”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “Tell me you’re as repulsed by him as I am. Tell me that you’ll come back to me.”

  And here it was. The conversation I’d wanted to avoid. Yes, Quintus and I had started dating before everything snowballed. I had hoped going out with him would push Holden out of my heart and mind, but it hadn’t worked even before Holden was back on the scene. My feelings for Quintus were only ever friendship. “Regardless of what happens, regardless of where I end up in life, I’ll always consider you
a friend.”

  “Friends.” He nodded and looked away.

  “It’s the best I can do.” I turned to go back inside.

  He caught my shoulders and turned me to him. His warm brown eyes studied mine for a moment then he brushed his lips against mine. His hand curled around my neck, tilting my head to a better angle. A thousand thoughts rushed into my mind. First and foremost, Holden would kill him if he walked out here. I pushed against his chest, but Quintus held me close a moment longer before releasing me. He inspected me as if willing my skin to glow. It remained normal. “Come back to me, Firefly.” With that he disappeared.

  I took a moment to collect myself and allow my lips to return to their normal shade before I went back inside. Holden’s eyes were filled with murderous intent though his expression was stony as he stared at the door. The air felt heavy, yet blank of all emotion. Holden knew what had happened, but I ignored him.

  “So, Femi, are you joining me on my suicide mission?”

  She smiled, though her eyes were alert, sensitive to the violence in the air. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Where’s the guardian?” Holden asked, still staring at the door.

  “He’s gone.”

  Holden looked at me. “He better stay that way.”

  I felt the weight and threat behind his words. Annoyance flared. No one, including Holden, was going to dictate my life or my friends. “You don’t own me, Holden. Don’t forget that.”

  A harsh laugh tore from his lips. “Is that so?”

  “It is.” I tilted my chin up and met his glare with one of my own.

  “If you’re coming back with me, that’s exactly how it is. You’re my property and you better hope you stay that way. If they believe threatening you is challenging me, you have a layer of protection. Without that protection, they’ll eat you alive. Rule number one, you obey me.”

  My stomach twisted in both anticipation and nerves. I fought to keep my hands to my side. For every thought or desire I had favoring Holden, there was a conflicting one on its heels. “Is that my first lesson? To use you as a shield?”

  He sighed. “For as long as you can, yes.” Some of the tension eased from his form, and he moved over to the couch. “The second lesson is trust no one, except me.”

  I walked over and sat sideways on the other end of the couch so I could face him.

  “I mean it. Anyone could be connected to this, guardian or jinn.”

  “Fine, but I’m going to trust Femi.”

  Holden looked her up and down in a threatening way. She narrowed her eyes back at him. “Do I need to kick your ass to prove I’m trustworthy?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “You cross us, and I’ll make it my business to kill you as many times as I have to.”

  She shrugged, unperturbed by the threat.

  “Are you going to tell me what to say and how to dress too?”

  “Sometimes.” He looked wary. “It’s not too late to back out.”

  “I’m going to do this.”

  “You’ll need to keep our communication pathways open all the time, especially when we aren’t together. It’s one thing we have that no one will see coming.”

  I agreed. “Is that it?”

  Holden nodded.

  “Good, I have a few rules of my own. First rule, no touching me. We both know how that ends up.” Being alone with him for an extended period of time would prove disastrous to any will power I had. I wanted to eliminate the temptation as much as possible.

  “It won’t look natural if you’re my girlfriend, and I never touch you.”

  “Fine, no touching me outside of public settings.”

  His eyes twinkled, amused, for a moment before he agreed.

  “Second, don’t kill Juliet.”

  All amusement melted away. “She has to die; you should’ve let me take care of her before.”

  “I can’t live through that again. I don’t care if she wants to kill me. If it comes down to it, I’ll take care of her. Otherwise, she lives.”

  “You’ll take care of her?” Doubt was plastered across his face. “Liv, you feel bad for road kill.”

  “Regardless, I’d like for you to respect my feelings.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “And my last rule is no secrets. If I have to do everything you say, I need to be able to trust that you aren’t lying to me. No more secrets at all.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine.”

  “Should we shake on it or is that against the rules?”

  I laughed and hoped I knew what I was doing.

  “So let’s hit Chicago.”

  Femi uncurled from her sitting position and stretched. “Back to Chi-town—and hey, thanks for not making me feel like a third wheel here, guys. Thanks.” Her voice had taken on a bit of a game show host tone and she gave us two thumbs up, making me laugh.

  “Aw, Femi. You know I love you.” I stood and slung my arm over her shoulders.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” We laughed as we walked out, Holden trailing behind.

  Eight

  I went to Ezra’s office on instinct. I had an obligation to tell him what happened, but he wasn’t there. I paced the room, my chest tight. How could she desert us? How could she go to the jinn? I never knew her at all. Now I had to tell them and I couldn’t even imagine what they would do. Excommunicate her, retire her, or worse? No matter what they did, she was gone. I had a sinking feeling. I shouldn’t be here. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t betray her even if she left me—even if we were just friends. I left not caring that Ezra would know I’d been there. I couldn’t talk to him or anyone right now.

  I tried home, but it felt empty and made me restless. I tried all my favorite places, but none of them gave me peace of mind. I had nowhere go. I somehow ended up in the woods where Olivia first came back. I sat in the clearing and looked around, but I couldn’t see the beauty in it without her here. Knowing the old, magnificent trees were full of life that I couldn’t share with her made me not want to look at them. The wood nymphs flitted all around and danced on beams of light. Some even played around me, curious about why I was sitting in their forest not doing anything.

  I needed a plan. I needed an occupation to take my mind off of her. In all my years when I came to a problem like this, there was one guardian who I could always turn to for advice. Jace would have known what to do. He would have understood. He had met Olivia and seen how special she was. He would have helped prevent her current path of destruction. But Jace was gone, taken by the jinn.

  “Why have you called me to the middle of nowhere, Quintus?”

  Jace’s voice made my head snap up.

  “Angst doesn’t suit you, my friend. Is it the girl?”

  “You’re, you’re dead. They took you.”

  “Who took me?”

  “The jinn. Ezra said you were missing.”

  He crinkled his forehead. “It must’ve been a mistake. I am fine, as you see.”

  I looked at Jace for a long while, my mind churning. “Ezra doesn’t make mistakes,” I said.

  Jace sighed and sat down next to me. “What’s going on, Quintus?”

  “I’ve been a fool and now Olivia is gone.”

  “What do you mean ‘gone’?”

  “Gone. She left. She went back to him.” I closed my eyes. “And she was right. We are no better than they are.”

  “I’m afraid I am not following you.”

  “Ezra’s been stringing me along, and I’ve been doing everything he asked.”

  “Tell me everything.”

  And I did. I told him about Olivia’s human life, about Ezra assigning me to her, about him keeping the missing guardians a secret, making me report on Olivia, about the stakeout, about being told Jace was captured, and about how we escaped.

  Jace listened, staring straight ahead, without comment. A weight lifted from my shoulders. It was nice to share this burden with someone else and get an outside perspective. I told him about Ol
ivia deciding to stay with Holden and live among the jinn. His cheek twitched, but he still didn’t say anything. The woods darkened and the air filled with the sounds of the nightingales singing the world to sleep.

  “She won’t be able to stay with him.” Jace’s voice was firm and confident.

  “We can’t make her leave. I think they’re soul mates.”

  Jace frowned. “That isn’t possible.”

  “She glows when he touches her.”

  “A guardian could never resist that sort of bond, and from what you said, she has resisted it.”

  I gave him a helpless gesture. I didn’t like it any more than he did.

  “It doesn’t matter. We won’t have to force her to leave. She will come back on her own, or she will be stripped of her powers.”

  “But if everyone finds out…”

  “If they found out the reason she deserted, she would be tried and retired.”

  Retired was the guardian way of removing someone from the Abyss. It was a nice way of saying they would kill her. “Are you certain?”

  He nodded. “But we can prevent that. We need to not tell them.”

  “But Ezra wanted me to bring her in. He wanted to talk to her. I don’t see how I can avoid it.”

  “Quintus, you are about to become very good at lying.” I frowned at him. “Unless you’re willing to see her punished. She has ignored every rule we have.”

  What was I willing to do to save her? She didn’t feel the same way about me as I did about her. Did she deserve my loyalty when she didn’t display any of her own? She ran off with Holden—again. She abandoned our people. She could have stayed and we could have exposed Ezra for what he was, but she left. With him.

  I cleared my throat. “I will not lie to protect her. What happens to Olivia is out of my hands. She made her choice. The jinni can take care her.”

  Jace clamped a hand down on my shoulder. “Are you certain? I know how much you liked her. Jinn aren’t known for helping others.”

  I nodded. This was the way it had to be. She would learn where her loyalties should be.

  “Okay, then perhaps we can use this to remove Ezra from power. With the disappearances and possible war we don’t need a scandal to shake the faith of our people. If we do this right, no one will be harmed. We have to get proof he was the one arranging for the jinn to be wherever they were abducted from and figure out why.”